Personal Stories

“OBLIGATORY 2013 RESOLUTION BLOG POST.”

Here we go.  My readers knew that this was coming.  Every crappy and brilliant blogger is posting one of these obligatory “what my goals” post for 2013.  I have to do it.  I believe it’s a rite of passage for most writers.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of blogs out there that will tell you to “Make That Resolution List Easy,”  or “How to Stick with the List.”   Whatever.  I will not tell you how to do it or how to stick with it.  Hell, I’ve got my own problems, phobias and junk to work through.  It’s just not my J.O.B.  I am just telling all of you what I really need to do for 2013.  I am making myself accountable to ALL OF YOU so that when I slip – I get a lashing from family, friends, acquaintances,  bloggers, writers and followers from Twitter.

LISTEN to what I have to say all of you right now:  2012 was kind of a shit show that I don’t ever want to go through again!  Personal drama, shopping at Dollar Tree (I really hate it – everyone there looks sad working there), robbing Peter to pay Paul, not focused on the things I love, gained too much weight, wearing shitty clothes because of said weight gain, “fair-weathered” friends who really don’t give a rats butt about me, stressing about tomorrow, three or six months from now – I could go on and on.  I AM DONE.  Yes, no more.  I can’t do it anymore.  Here is the only piece of advice that I will give my readers before I move on …. You don’t start your “List, Goals, Resolutions” on the last day of the year.  What is the point?  It sets people up for failure.

I started on Christmas Eve.  I became increasingly agitated with individuals who would spout of some snark things to me online and realized that things were said behind my back that were incredibly unkind.  I thought they were my friends, alas they were not.  So I thought long and hard – if the chips were done and I was REALLY in some type of trouble, would they be there for me?  NO.  If I was in the hospital, would they come visit me?  Probably not.  I hit the DELETE button hard.  Did some blocking too.  Guess what.  I’ve yet to hear from any of them.  It’s as if they’ve all fallen off the face of the Earth and I am okay with that.  That’s was Goal #1.  Get rid of the people who cause drama and are not in your life for any other reason than to take up my space.  Was it mean to do it on Christmas Eve?  Not really.  I don’t have any more drama in that arena….do you?

Learning to just let it go.  Seriously, let it go.  “This is “Goal #2.” What is the point of it all by harboring resentments and anger?  If I continue to do that, I will wind up having a heart attack by age 50.  My doctor actually told me this earlier this year.  It’s just not worth it.  I turned 45 today and quite frankly, I don’t have the energy for it.  “Well, you said this and he did that and so I am totally pissed.”  How is that working for you?  Do we all need to do a re-hash of last year?   I won’t.  I can’t.  It’s too much for my brain to comprehend.  I know people who will go back five to ten years ago and bring up junk.  So how does that complete your life today?  I think this goes along with, “I am right because…..”  WHO CARES!  Get a clue or wait, GET A LIFE.  If you are still dwelling on stuff just to say you’re right – you’ve got a big problem.  It’s called YOU.  Call Dr. Phil, you need it.

I’ve gained too much weight.  Now I know this is going to be a hard one, but I have to say it.  Being overweight is NOT sexy at all.  It’s NOT pretty and it’s NOT okay.  That is my own personal opinion.  I can’t walk into a Hometown Buffet and/or Golden Corral and watch people KILL themselves.  One time I was at the Golden Corral buffet and watched a woman who was in a lark because SHE WAS TOO BIG and grab 3 plates of food.  Right hand, left hand, and her lap.  I lost my appetite.  It was disgusting to watch.  America, I think this “Goal #3″ needs to be on all of our lists.  We are too fat.  We are unhealthy.  We are walking time bombs and THAT is one of several reasons why healthcare is skyrocketing.  We eat processed crap everyday because we are TOO lazy to cook healthy food.  Why because we are too busy.  However, we are busy because we THINK that’s what life is supposed to be.  SIT DOWN, SHUT UP AND THINK.  That’s all it takes to wake up and realizing that we are speeding up our own death rate by doing what we do.  I think I just stated that I am an overweight 45 year old and I am “Fat Racist.”  It is what it is.

Want to get really grossed out?  You should see the “smoke pot.”  Yep….that’s what I call it.  It’s“Goal #4″ and it’s going to take me awhile to master this one.  Why, because nicotine is fucking heroin. I cough because I smoke cigarettes.  I cough when I try to stop smoking.  I smoke when I have the flu because I think it helps.  WTF?  I know.  I don’t smoke just any kind of cigarette….it’s the Marlboro Black Menthol shorts.  It’s a “Bold” menthol flavor.  Let’s call it what it us.  It’s a “Death” flavor.  The Grim Reaper has been on my back for about 10 years and counting.  I am not proud of it….but God, I will tell you it’s delicious with a Starbucks coffee in the morning.  I mean tasty!  Yeah, it’s this year it has to stop.  I don’t feel like visiting the plastic surgeon in five years and look like that flipping awful woman on Real Housewives of Miami.  Holy hell.

Giving more.  Yes, that is “Goal #5.” I STILL have too much crap in my garage.  I refuse to sell it on Craigslist and deal with the nut-jobs that call me to “make a deal” OR never showing up when you’re wanting to sell some stupid crappy old cell phone at the local Starbucks.   I shop at Goodwill all the time.  Why?  One reason is, I am broke along with everyone else in the State of California with the exception of those who live in La La Land.  Reason two, I believe in recycling and why buy new crap sold at Walmart and/or Target that’s made in China when I can get good old crap for 3/4 of the price?  Reason three, it gives jobs to those at Goodwill who could not find employment otherwise.  The disabled, Veterans and felons.  I believe it giving back (Goodwill, spending time with the elderly – whatever) and it makes the community a better place to live.

2013 is the year for ME.  “Goal #6.”   I am no longer worrying about things that are totally NOT MY PROBLEM and or inconsequential to me.  I realize that this must sound incredibly selfish but to be quite honest, I don’t care.  I have grown tired of worrying.  It’s a grueling thing to do.  This year I will not over extend myself to others.  I will finish the projects that are 100% important to me.  Of course that means the family photo project that’s been on the back burner forever because of said drama from 2012 will finally be finished soon.  The book that I am writing will become a first draft in less than 6 months and yes, it’s about me.  Why, because it’s always about me.  I am worth it.  Plus, this blog will be bigger and “sexy-delicious” <— I like that word, work with me here.  I work better in odd than even years.  It’s a weird thing I picked up from my Grandmother.  I will work on a project called “Kelly Peric” and it will be ever more magnificent than ever.

Happy New Year to all of YOU and Happy Birthday to me.

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