I have to thank Vicki Gunvalson from Real Housewives of Orange County for my title today. Ever since I’ve seen that specific episode I CANNOT get it out of my head. For some reason, just those two words have me thinking about something that we all do at some point of our lives. Just burning in my brain. I can’t really explain why, but it does.
In researching the word “liar” I was fascinated by other synonyms and or related words besides “liar.” Here are some of my favorites: Deceiver, Trickster, a Slicker (really?) but my all time favorite is a Prevaricator! It sounds sexy, but it’s actually a liar pants on fire. I was thinking to myself there should be a picture of Lance Armstrong, Manti Te’o or Kenneth lay – but no, it’s Pinocchio.
I find that people (in general) lie for a myriad of reasons. I for one have been known to tell a fib so it doesn’t hurt someone’s feelings. “What do you think of my hair?” says Girlfriend. “I think it looks very nice.” say Me and I am lying because it looks like it was styled by a meat butcher. We lie because we are inherently born that way. If you believe in the Bible, thank Adam and Eve for that one. It’s something that we do.
There are liars that are pathological. Who absolutely cannot help themselves but tell a lie everyday. Or who tell so many just bizarre stories that it’s just easier to cover a lie with another lie than tell the truth. I have come across those folks once or twice in my lifetime and I steer clear. I don’t want to wind up buying into some ridiculous or devious story that makes me part of a “48 Hours” or “The First 48” TV episode. No thank, I will pass on that opportunity.
I wish everyone was like Woz. If you don’t know who he is: Google Apple. I read an interview recently where when talking about telling the truth, he has stated that his Dad taught him to NEVER tell a lie. He prides himself on his honesty with others. I wish I could duplicate him and surround myself with a person like that. Oh well, cloning is only for sheep. For now.
People have been lied to in business transactions. Insert any douche-bag pyramid banking scheme here or Bernie Madoff. I watch CNBC’s “American Greed” a LOT. It is still surprising to me that people do not listen and I mean LISTEN to someone when they are telling you that you will get TOP dollar on your investments when even the banks or anyone else can’t promise you that. If you can’t smell out a liar, well – don’t invest your entire retirement with an investment firm that you’ve NEVER heard of before except from a friend of a friend. Mind-boggling.
Now personally, I will never understand this one. I wish people in 2013 would catch a clue because it would stop so many hurt feelings. If you are unhappy and you don’t like who you are with – Don’t lie to them. Just tell them the truth. It’s not that hard people. It’s called having a set of balls. If they are lost because they are so small, go find them now.
I am making the assumption that most people would rather hear “this is just not working for me” than finding out that their mate, best-friend, spouse or business associate is being dishonest about their relationship. I am not just talking about adultery, it can be anything really. When you are thinking of doing something that you KNOW deep in your heart is wrong and you are in a committed relationship, friendship, partnership, business or marriage – stop right now. Man up, put your big girl panties on, and TELL the truth.
Recently I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about this very subject and we’ve came to the same conclusion. Some people get so wrapped up in their lies that they can’t be honest with anyone because of the shame, ridicule and/or fear of loss of a relationship. I have known and or seen people who will be told to their faces – “that is a lie my friend, and I can show you why” and people STILL can’t spit it out from their lips! I would think that behaving that way is just so exhausting. Wouldn’t life be more liberating just to tell the damned truth? Maybe you won’t look that cooler, or smarter than you thought you were but in the end – you and whomever you’ve lied to will have the truth. I’ve heard the truth can set you free.
The Roman rhetorician, Quintilian once said : “A liar should have a good memory.” Vicki would say “Liar Face!” Take your pick, it’s all the same. Thanks Vicki.