I woke up early. Had coffee ready. Set out my dress last night. I made sure that I was prepared to roll and drive 6 minutes to church today. Fully intending on doing whats right. Some people feel that worship makes them feel better and sets a person straight for the work week. Some people believe that there is no God. That’s okay. That’s their opinion. I don’t believe that but I respect their thoughts.
Here is why I couldn’t go. I am STILL smoking. I know, my family (Mom), friends and co-workers bitch at me constantly about it. “I thought you were going to quit yesterday, last week, month or year?” “You have Lupus, are you crazy.” I answer yes to both of those questions. Listen, getting off the wacky tobacky is going to be one of the hardest things I am going to have to do. I am dreading it but I know that it’s not healthy for me. I wish there was an easy pill that I could take that would make the withdrawals but there is not unfortunately.
I cannot with a clean conscience walk into a house of worship, the Lord’s place and pray when I am smoking. In my mind it doesn’t seem like the right thing to do at all. That’s why the plan is this and I am making it known on the internet so that if someone catches me – they can call me out and throw stones at me. The plan is to quit on Tuesday. I can’t do it Monday because that is the beginning of the work week and I will lose it. I know, the addict mind right? Is there every a bad time to quit smoking? Ha ha. However that is the plan.
So if I seem a bit snark in my posts starting next week, you will all know why – but at least I can walk into church next Sunday and not feel guilty about it. Wish me luck (seems fitting on St. Patrick’s Day) – I will need it.
Oh, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all.