Little known fact: I rarely remember my dreams. If I do recall them in the morning, it’s usually something horrible. I’ve died, my son died….someone dies. I know, awful. I am actually pretty jealous of people who can remember their dreams and have the ability to interpret them and or be able to tell a story based on that dream. My brain does not have the capability to do that at all so to be able to share this with you is a rarity at best.
What’s really weird about this dream: I was dying but I was okay with it. I know, really? How COULD I be okay with it? However it was not via medieval mode of operandi such as someone killing me, fire, car accident or drowning. I found out I had a disease it was going to put me into the ground and that’s that. One would think even that kind of a dream would be a nightmare, but not for me I guess. *must be that fatalistic attitude #Lupus*
To the dream: Yes, I had a terminal illness. In my dream, I literally sold everything I owned in my home. *My poor husband wouldn’t even have his green couch* As a matter of fact, my husband was not even in this dream at all. Don’t ask me why? One would think he would want to know that I was close to kicking the bucket, right? In my dream, I called my life insurance company and told them to send my 90% of my policy to me as well. I wind up giving money only to my Mother, Husband and Son. The remainder is mine and what I do next is just nuts.
I disappear and remove myself from the grid. No cell phone. Delete my website, get rid of my e-mail, anything and everything that I find to be a distraction. Out of contact from everyone, including my family and friends. I don’t want to be interrupted, bothered, stressed. I remove myself from the stratosphere of crap around me. *please note – I LOVE THIS PART OF THE DREAM* I wish I could do this in real life. How liberating would that be?
For some reason: I am driving a Porsche and it’s not new. My dream is SO specific. It’s a 1972 Porsche. You would think I would have my 1969 VW Bug in this dream? No. The color? Black of course. I find in my dream that I am driving down Highway 1 in this car. From the tip of the California Oregon border all the way to San Francisco. I stop along the way at local watering holes to take in the local fare and people. This trip takes days. Why I don’t know. Maybe I want to hear someone else’s misery than focus on my own in my dream.
At the end of my travel I wind up at the beginning of the Golden Gate bridge. I park the car and recall that I was just sitting in the car for what seems like an eternity. I am watching people, the bridge and the cars that traverse over it. I finally step out of the car. I am wearing the most brilliant white dress on this earth. A gentleman walks up to me. He’s wearing a black suit and hat. I don’t see a face on him. All I hear is “Are you ready?” I said “Yes.” At that point, everything goes dark and quiet. I cannot see and or hear anything. It’s that time, I wake up.
It felt like the longest dream on Earth. I recall that I had a song playing in the background the entire time. I don’t know what to make of this dream. Am I going to take a trip to the Bay? Will I get that 72 Porsche? Is God warning me to slow down and smell the roses? Could I be dreaming this because of stress? Something deep down is bothering me? Who knows. Maybe all of this is just nonsense and means nothing. What I do know is this dream made a hell of an imprint on my brain.
*Note: Dear God, I want the Porsche. Thanks!*
*This was the song that was playing in my head during the entire dream*