Scribbles

No “I’s” in Me.

I have to admit that getting back on the “saddle” of writing has been difficult.  It’s been some time since I’ve been able to sit quietly (if that is ever possible) and place word to the bloggerverse.  Typically, my mind is not quiet.  Not even remotely.  I’ve got fifteen million things going on my head at one time.  I don’t know if that’s a chick deal, a OCD thing or what.  I’ve never EVER been able to train my brain just to shhhhhh.  Seriously.

I think it’s because I’ve been too worried about everything else.  What’s my Mom up to?  Do the dogs have enough food or water for the day?  Did I turn off the coffee pot?  Gosh, did I check my budget list to make sure I can meet my obligations at the end of the week?  Do I have anti-bacterial wipes for the kitchen counters?  Is my husband handling work okay?  Did I meet my service levels at my job?  How is my son and is he going to get his ass back into college?  Should I finish my online boutique project?  Oh no, does the VW Bug tires look low?  Did I check the mail, e-mail, the text message I got two days ago?  Has my family gone AWOL?  Am I getting wrinkles? Is the list for the day DONE?

Did you notice something dear Reader?  Although some of the last paragraph has a few “I’s,”  it doesn’t pertain to ME at all.  It’s busy work.  Worry fluff.  Mindless bullshit. It’s not paying attention to that little voice that is in my head which is called “Me.”  I know that we are all guilty of this on occasion.  However, I am three strikes felon waiting for the bus ride to Pelican Bay.  I am finding that the older I become, the more I like to avoid the inevitable which is Me and it’s so desperate for attention.

That’s why I am now trying to focus on this website everyday.  To break the habit of training my brain to filter out the crap that we’ve (especially women) become to be programmed in.  You know what I mean Ladies.  It’s the “You can have it all syndrome.”  It’s a big fat lie and I am here to break the news – it doesn’t work.  It is IMPOSSIBLE to be the BEST Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Co-Worker and/or Peer, and BFF while your brain is on overload with all the details that you can’t finish before you flipping die!  You cannot be the best at everything all the time and not lose yourself in the process.  If you don’t pay attention to the most important person in your life (yes YOU AND/OR ME) then guess what….what’s the point of  life in the first place?

It’s OK to say NO.  It’s only taken 44 years for me to catch on.  I am learning that the phrase for “Women can have it all” really means “Women do it all.”  That has to change.  I for one have had my fill.  If I hear one more time,  “if you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of others,”  I am going to cut someone.  Please.  Take care of yourself.  I for myself have some serious healing and new brain programming to do.

 

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdhancock/7780593776/”>JD Hancock</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

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